I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, life is going to happen. Things are going to occur. Situations are going to arise that are entirely out of our control. Now, these situations can be considered good, bad, positive, or negative. But for the most part, and I'm coming from personal experience, there is no benefit in avoiding those negative or bad situations. Because they are going to occur, they are going to arise in our lives, no matter what. So, when life shows up, you, me, all of us, have to show up for life.
If you ultimately know, if you ultimately understand that life is going to happen, then you realize that things are going to occur and situations are going to arise. Then, why do you continuously avoid a bad situation? Why do you habitually ignore a negative situation? You may push it to the side or place it in a box that’s labeled “I’ll get to you later” or “to do later”. You remove it from your immediate vicinity. You remove it from your mind in such a way that you don’t have to deal with it right now or face it head-on in this present moment.
Now, I understand, you may not want to deal with something immediately in that very moment and that’s okay. You may need time to process the situation, process our feelings, to come to a logical conclusion on how to proceed. In that case, your usage of time is for the eventual good and self-growth you are going to experience. The ends justify the means. What I am trying to focus on here and emphasize with great passion, is the harm that can be done when you place something bad or negative on the side for a long time. When you avoid it and ignore it for an extended period of time, you are being motivated by this concept of self-preservation. You don’t want to feel the feelings that that situation might bring about within you. That might arise within you. So, when you push it to the side, you free mental space. You don’t allow yourself to feel anything from those situations.
That may work in the short term, but as you all know, or at least I do from personal experience, that when you fail to deal with a negative situation head-on. When you choose to avoid it, ignore it, and place it on the side out of our immediate mental space, it’s just going to sit there. As much as you may want to convince yourself that if you leave it there, it will go away, it’s not going to magically disappear. That’s not how life works. It may lay dormant in the back catalogs of your brain, but with each passing moment, it gains strength and the ability to cause damage. So, when you decide to leave it there unattended, it’s going to fester, it’s going to simmer, and eventually, it’s going to turn into this monster. This monstrosity of a problem that could have been dealt with initially, but because you didn’t want to go through certain feelings or deal with pain, or struggle, we placed it on the side of our immediate mental space.
This monstrosity will eventually manifest itself within your life. It’s going to seep into the forefront of your brain, whether you want it to or not. It’s been hiding, strategically buried in the back catalogs of your brain. It’s been waiting for the right moments, the right situations to rear its ugly head. As a result, it will slowly infiltrate itself into each and everything you do throughout the day, whether you consciously allow it to or not. It’s inevitable. So then you have to ask the question, why? Why do you sabotage yourself by doing this?
The answer is very clear. It’s because you don’t want to deal with those initial feelings of anger, sadness, grief, or frustration which are usually painful or uncomfortable to sit with. It’s that simple, which is usually the case, but as humans, we tend to overthink and complicate even the simplest of things. You’d rather ignore, avoid, and not address them. That’s taking the shortcut, the very easy way out and to be completely honest, I am no stranger to this strategy. I used it more times than I want to admit and truly convinced myself that it was the best course of action at the time. I was lying to myself and justifying destructive and damaging behavior for the instant gratification behind not having to feel those negative feelings, those hurtful feelings.
You know for a fact that situations will unfold within your life that are good and bad. How you deal with these bad or negative situations are going to have a significant impact on the person you become. This doesn’t mean that the positive situations won’t contribute to your overall persona as well, but adversity builds character. Adversity can show you who you are and who you’re not. It can show you what you can be and what you shouldn’t be. But, you have to deal with this adversity, you have to face these negative feelings head-on. You have to understand that going through that storm is only going to make you stronger. It’s only going to make you a better human being, a better version of yourself. And, once you endure that storm and find yourself on the other side, you will know that you can handle more. You can handle those storms that life puts in your immediate path. You can handle those moments of sadness and grief.
When I say moments, that moment might stretch into a few days, a week, or a few weeks. As long as you are dealing with it. As long as you are facing it head-on and focusing our mental energy on those feelings in that situation, then you can move forward. You have to show up because life is going to happen. So, showing up allows you to get through those situations. It allows you to address them, understand them, and eventually continue on your journey of self-evolution and self-growth. And, as you progress, you will see the results. I guarantee it. You will see that you are becoming a better version of yourself one day at a time, one situation at a time.
But, you first have to whole-heartedly trust yourself and trust that you can make it through any situation that may arise. Having that faith, having that strength will give you the courage to persevere. All of this comes from within yourself. You may lean on others for help at times, there’s nothing wrong with that, but, at the end of the day, you have to walk through those feelings. No one else can do that for you. It’s your life and you’re the only one that can truly experience it. So, trust that you can make it through any difficulty or any challenge, that life throws at you. That trust will give you that confidence, that self-esteem, and self-worth needed to put in the work. To dedicate time and energy towards dealing with life on life’s terms without complaining or wondering “why me” throughout the whole process. You will genuinely understand that whatever happened, happened for a reason, happened because it was supposed to and now it’s up to you to react.
And, the best way to react, the best way to deal with all of it, is to show up. Show up for life. Show up for yourself. Show up so that you can live a happy life, that is joyous, and that is free. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Start now. There is no better time than this moment.